FOLLOWING:
i am the fat manatee.
Since when is Justin Bobby “pause the tv and take a picture” worthy?? Sweet moses, dude, it’s amazing the difference a haircut and a shave can make.
Full disclosure: this is only on my DVR because April set it to record. I have nothing else to watch so here we are. May jump off balcony afterwards.
| KEG: | i don't understand how christina gets hot guys on the show. she is 0% attractive |
| KDB: | now you are talking to me about chick stuff |
| KEG: | i am totally not |
| KDB: | all i hear is vagina vagina, tampon, period. |
— Peter Griffin.
— Stewie Griffin.
Fun red sangria filled brunch with one gentleman, and now hanging around with this one. The dudes I chill with are just as rad as the chicks.
— SETH MEYERS, Weekend Update (via inothernews) (via orangeismyfavoritecolor)
51 Best Kid Fails: Compilation #2
Had to.
I pretty much laughed the entire time.
When I discovered that my graduation gift was a bible, I was furious.
“I asked for a gun, not a fucking Bible!” I screamed at my dad.
“But…”
“But nothing! Get out of here! I never want to see you again.”
My dad and I never spoke again after that. As for the bible, I just assumed it was long gone until I saw it again, years later, at my father’s funeral. It was tucked away on the shelf under my parent’s television and when I picked it up to thumb through it, a check fell out and floated to the floor. The amount? More than enough for the gun I had wanted.
Suddenly, I felt like a fool. “How many other stupid books had I forgotten to check for money?”
